The Human Side of Leadership

It is Lance Secretan who said: “Leadership is not a formula or a program, it is a human activity that comes from the heart and considers the heart of others…”
As the world watched the rescue operation of the 33 Chilean miners trapped underground for 70 days and the Chilean president standing there through the endless hours to welcome each miner as they emerge one after the other, I thought it was impressive, worthy of emulation and adds some credibility to his leadership. After all we are talking of 33 people only in a whole nation.
Think of the incredible effect this will have on his people… he may now be known as the “Peoples’ president”, a far cry from the image and the impression the world and his nation had of him prior to this incident.
There are many facets to this story; all of them come neatly knitted together at the end and it is such a success story, more so because of its happy ending. There are outstanding lessons to learn from this incident. Whether you believe it is a miracle or a well orchestrated team work, there are lessons to take away:
The human spirit (not the body) has the ability to withstand untold stretch and challenge.
A lot can be achieved when there is a common goal and shared values. The strong belief among the miners that they will be rescued kept them alive. The agreement with the people on the surface that this could be done aligned with their belief and all pursued a common cause which over time has proven to make people and employees to achieve great feats.
Another lesson worth mentioning is the transformations that happened within these people underground. They emerged from the deep of the earth, all changed and transformed. Instead of moaning their situation and wondering why them, and feeling sorry for themselves, they hurdled together and even underground, their different talents manifested to keep their spirits up until help came. Incredible!!!

The Power to Choose

"There is a great battle that rages inside me. One side is the soaring eagle. Everything the eagle stands for is good and true and beautiful, and it soars above the clouds. Even though it dips down into the valleys, it lays its eggs on the mountaintops.

The other side of me is the howling wolf. And that raging, howling wolf represents the worst that is in me. He eats upon my downfall and justifies himself by his presence in the pack.

Who wins this great battle?

The one I feed"

Although the author of the above is unknown, we can all relate with this raging battle. It all boils down to choice - Your choice of actions, your choice of response and your choice of words/language. It is all about choice. It is important to mention that these choices are not always easy. There are struggles and there are failures but in each of these battles, you have the power to choose how to respond. Whether it is in relationships with our colleagues and team mates or responding to their actions, we can choose to move towards the goal for greater good.

Persistence with a goal: The Beautiful World of Children

I wrote this peom as I watch my 20 months toddler explore his world and it taught me several lessons for life.

If only I can see the world through the eyes of children
I will not fear failure
I will not be ashamed of my true self
I will fail as many times as there are yet not stop trying

I will take my steps and fall, yet I will try again and again
I will try to open my bottles, my toys, my umbrella and I will not give up
I will explore my world without fear, I will climb, I will jump

If only I can see the world through the eyes of children
I will feed myself over and over with my hands not able to reach my mouth
I will try the left, then the right and the left again

I will not fear the stains or think of the messes because I do not know them
I only know one thing, to get the food into my mouth
No matter how little, no matter how much…
Just some food into my mouth, little, scoop at a time all by myself.

Managing Your Boss

I recently had some young and middle managers in a workshop and one of the recurring issues was working with a difficult boss. To start with, the term difficult I believe is ambiguous because ‘difficult’ is something that defies a person’s understanding or a little challenging for one’s skills and attitude to handle at that point in time.

I tried to pin down the characteristics or the behaviours that make this person difficult and that was quite difficult to articulate. I do not deny that because of personality and other differences that it could be quite challenging to get along with some people but I do believe that when someone has a boss and the boss is a difficult person, there are ways to relate and manage this person.

My first question to this young manager who is obviously frustrated by her inability to reach, access and relate with this boss is affecting her performance on the job was “Is there something good, something you like at all about this boss?” After a long thought, she acknowledged that yes; the boss in question knows his job but his ego is as high as the heavens. Once we can identify something positive in a person then we are more than likely to find an in-road into building a viable relationship.

Timining is ciritcal
I believe that there is a right time to approach your boss to get his or her attention. Is she/he morning person or afternoon person?

Big piture/details
A boss is challenging when we have no clue how to present information. We tend to do what we like and expect everyone else to like it most especially the boss. Make effort to know your boss and present information the way it most appeals to him/her. Is she/he a big picture person or a very detailed person?

What is important to your boss
What is important to your boss? Help him. Support him. Initiative is the ability to use common sense uncommonly. Anticipate what the boss is struggling with and offer help.

Lastly, I read somewhere that you should not surprise your boss. I will add, do not let him/her discover things especially mistakes or information that you should have readily made available.

Having Difficult Conversations at work

Many managers dread these conversations and actually postpone it as much as possible and sometimes instead of the situation ‘vanishing’ it only deteriorates and gets even more difficult. Can we wish difficult conversations away? My honest answer is No. Can we have these conversations and minimize the ‘impact’ and ‘damage’ and have positive experience from it? My answer is a definite ‘yes’.
Each of these conversations will require different approach depending on where you are sitting (the giving or the receiving end) but primarily for the manager who will hold these discussions; one thing runs through in all of them and that is ‘empathy’. We have all at one time or the other been on the lower end of the ladder but when we get up there, we tend to forget what it really feels like at the bottom. Also, we tend to think that we got to where we are today (I am talking of those of us who are very ‘smart’ and experienced) from our mothers womb and have never been at the beginners level. We view people from where we and not be able to relate to where they are. This kind of attitude will make having even easy conversations very difficult.

In my role as HR professional and as an internal service provider, I have had several sessions with managers on how to hold appraisal discussions. Sometimes, they are not even aware that the sitting positions and the environment where these conversations are held are impactful on the way the discussions and feedbacks are received. Managers, also dread holding these conversations because they are typically very aloof and indifferent from their team members performance and actions all along and have never stopped to either pat on the back or reprimand until everything came a to ‘head’ and now they have to give the ‘bad

Most ‘difficult’ conversations center around employee performance (behaviors, effectiveness etc) and these conversations should not really be that difficult. I have met mangers who said “oh easy, I am immuned now”. Such responses are very disturbing because these types of managers lack what it takes to be managers. The term manager has to do with ‘managing people’ and if they are immuned to the ‘feelings’ of their team members, I dare say, it is a danger signal. However, managing emotions comes with maturity and when managers have to make a tough call; they have to make a tough call. Below are a few tips on holding very difficult conversations.

Communicate the Criteria for Decision Making
Allow Time for Reaction
Use this as an Opportunity for Recommending Areas of Development
Highlight the Positives and/or Strengths

Confronting issues are difficult conversations whether with employees or spouses or siblings but you cannot deal with what you cannot confront. Ignoring it or wishing it way, can only make the situation worse.

Dealing with the pain of job loss

No doubt there are a lot of angry and bitter people out there now following the recent waves of job losses blowing around the country, the globe and across sectors. Recent wave of job losses have been either from early retirement, retrenchment, severance, reduction … no matter what term is being used, losing a job hurts and it hurts real bad. Job loss has been credited as one of the highest ranking stress inducers of our time. Each story you hear seem to be worse than the previous one… all very pathetic.
Like every other loss, time is a good healer; the only problem with the loss of a job is that the victims have no time. Let me explain, if you have recently lost your job or in the process of losing it (because the exercise will continue until there is a major turnaround in the economy and there are no predictions that it will be soon), you have no time to mop and cry and feel sorry for yourself, you need to get up and get going. You need to ask yourself a number of self evaluator questions or seek the help of a life coach to help you through the process. However, no matter what you want to do, you have to first deal with the anger and resentment that you feel in the inside about losing your job.
Understanding why you were laid is primary to dealing with the anger and bitterness of severance. If you are not totally clear as to why your company laid you off or why you were asked to leave, then it will be a lot more difficult dealing with the anger. However, No matter how it was explained to you, the result is the same. Job loss can have a profound effect on your emotional well being. There is a typical cycle that most people experience. This cycle includes denial, anger, frustration, self pity and eventually adaptation. Because people are identified with what they do, a job loss looks like their identity have been taken away from them and self doubt is the first thing that sets in.
Let it sink in… accept it! Do not live in denial and do not go on with the blame game.
Talk about it… share the burden. Find someone you trust and if you have mentor, this is a good time to get together with the person. Get a life coach. Talk to someone who will listen.
Being laid off can be a trigger for something good to happen to you. It is important for you to see that it could be an opportunity for you to pursue your dreams that you have been putting on hold simply because you were comfortable with a monthly salary. This is the time to get back inside and use the strengths you have to do something.
Before you do anything, make sure you have resolved the anger within you about being laid off, forgiven anyone and everyone (if you think you have been victimized) or else it continue to hunt you and become a barrier for moving forward.

The case for mentoring

There is quite a bit being said these days and a number of stuff flying around the whole place on mentoring. I was talking with a fellow parent in school a couple of days ago and she wanted to know what I do. I said that I am an HR professional but currently involved with career and life coaching and that I also train groups and organizations on leadership and managerial effectiveness as well as coaching and mentoring in workplace.
She said that a lady had approached her in church to ask her to mentor her as she is getting into business. She asked me if I have a coach. I said I needed a coach when I was making the transition from 8 -9 as internal consultant to independent service provider. Anyway, she has always worked for herself so this lady wanted her to coach her as she begins the arduous journey of self employment.
On my way home from this meeting, I was reviewing all the conversations and even the meeting we went for (something that I learnt to do over the years) Now I do not even think of it… once I leave a meeting or had a conversation, my mind automatically goes into a debrief mood. It occurred to me that people choose mentors without consideration. I do believe that a successful person will be flocked around by people wanting to know how he or she did it but mentoring goes beyond that.
What do you consider before you choose someone as your mentor? What do you want to get out of the relationship? When you go to someone and say, “please I want you to mentor me”, what exactly do you want this person to do for you? What about this person did you see, hear, read or encounter that convinces you that he or she could be your mentor.
There are structured organizational coaching and mentoring programs which is somewhat different from what I am writing about here. In this type of program, there is a schedule to follow, the results and activities are monitored and measured. It is part of a wider development program or succession planning.
When someone comes to you and asks if you can ‘mentor’ him or her, what exactly is that person asking of you? Is there a general understanding of what and how and result? Before you say yes to a mentoring request, please seek to understand what is being asked. Ask yourself whether you will be able to give what is being asked? First and most importantly, do you have anything to offer? Do you have the time to provide mentoring? Do you have the resources to guide and support the required development of the mentor seeker?
When we are approached by someone asking that we mentor them, it is beyond the ‘feel good’ feeling we get. It is tasking. It is time consuming. So before you rattle out the next yes to such request, ask yourself if you have anything within because you cannot give what you do not have.

What do employees want?

What do employees want?

I recently ran into an entrepreneur and a successful one at that who is building a standard company in Nigeria. As excited as he was about what he is doing and the potential out there for growth in this country, his frustration with people issues were palpable. In less than ten minutes he rattled a number of programs and things he has done to try and get his people to perform and be passionate about the business but he has achieved very little.

He was also very noticeably frustrated with these people issues. His case is not peculiar. Often times I thought it was because they did not plan their people strategy alongside the business strategy but business strategy are emergent most times especially in emerging markets like Nigeria and so are the people issues.

It amazes me that people do not think that policies and regulations that affect the social arrangement of the country turn around and affect the people. In developed economies, people are paid to track these changes and what possible effects it will have on the people. People transcend all sectors of life and the businesses are not immuned to changes and effects.

What do employees want? Employees of today, are they the same with the ones of a decade and two decades ago? Are there demographic changes in our workforce? Should these or rather will these affect the expectations of the workforce?

There are a number of things that companies and business leaders can do that are non monetary and effective. Also a number of behavioral and leadership issues also affect employee morale and productivity and these have nothing to do with generations but fundamental to all across space and time. So the first point of call is a look within for the leaders and managers.

Often employers and business managers think only of money and raises. While money is a motivator, it rarely makes the first top three of the list in researches over the years. Communication on the other hand more often than not, tops the list and your employees are not different. If you are a manager, or business leader, do not hold back information. It is no longer power to hold unto information that can help your team. Employees need to know what is going on or else they will make it up and act on it.

Second on my list will be respect. But what kind of respect would an employee possible expect from a business owner who has been kind enough to pull him out of the streets and give him a job? To a lot of entrepreneurs, they are doing the employees who work for them a favor and they act it out even if they do not say it. This is a very poor attitude and one that will cause you more harm than good.


Respect is reflected in the way they are addressed, talked to and treated. Remember, it is not always how much you pay employees that is critical, it is how you treat them and if you treat your employees well, chances are that you will ‘pay them well’.